I will get out of here again. Soon. I can't be here any longer. I have no motivation when I'm here. Its like kryptonite. It sucks my power dry. All I want to do is sleep. And maybe eat when I have the appetite. That's all I do when I'm here. That's why I go out so much. I go to someone else house where I don't feel so burdened and weighed down. Where I feel free and can get things done. Or I just go out to go out. I go to the library or downtown. Now that I have no more cash I can't do that. I have to rely on other people to go places. It bothers me even more. I hate relying on people. I'm afraid of using them. Like the only reason they are around or that I hang out with them is just to get something for me. I never want any of my friendships to be that way.

I just need to get out of here.