The Vampire's Reflection

Trying to explain who Vampy is to people is really complicated. I used to think she was this horrible alter-ego that would creep in on me at the late hours of night and influence me to say and do things I would never do. Was Vampy, is Vampy, my id? Does she have no resistance? Impenetrable? Probably not. I feared her, sometimes still do, because she's so headstrong, so brackish. But I think it all makes sense now: Vampy is just a stronger side of me, a part of me repressed because she may just be that detrimental. Repressed, because she reveals my deepest thoughts. I feared her, and still do, because she exposes me in part for who I am, and also for who I am ashamed to be. Her openness and honesty, so curt, so vicious, could be the end of me. But, perhaps, Vampy is the answer I've been looking for. I'm no where near courageous enough to be so brute, so violent in nature. It seems unnatural, and unfair to those around me. That notwithstanding, such an attitude would make it impossible for people to walk all over me, to abuse me, even passively or without intent. Vampy, she's a necessity. She puts people in their place. She stops things before they start, and starts fires I would never have the balls to ignite. I love her, I hate her. I need her, and I could live without her. But how would I live? Would I live, as if it was always Halloween, or would I be just as free?

~Kat